I
had the honor of giving the closing prayer at my mother-in-law's funeral on
January 11.
It was a tear-filled reunion for many friends and family members
who were brought together originally BY this amazing woman, and brought
together finally FOR her.
My
husband acted, unwittingly, as MC, a last-minute fill-in for Mom and Dad’s
church leader who – we found out later – got lost and showed up at the wrong
funeral. Really. You can’t make this stuff up. I did nothing else by assignment
but ended up being the person who greeted guests at the door to the funeral home
and directed them to Dad, the viewing room, and the chapel where the service
would be held. Other siblings each took on a task, which no one wanted to do, but
everyone was privileged to do, and the service was beautiful.
There
was a lovely memory table containing photos, scrapbooks, her poetry, the recipe
for her famous dinner rolls, and various other remembrances. The service was
very well attended, probably 200 people, from all walks of her life – early church
friends and neighbors from their years in Long Beach, friends of the kids, and
40+ family members (those who could attend).
Dad
is hopelessly deaf, hearing left behind forever in the firehouse where he
served as captain for 30 years and lived among literally deafening bells and
sirens. He has a cochlear implant, but it has only restored about 3% hearing to
one ear. The other, without the implant, has none. We write him lots of notes. 😊 In that vein, I translated the service for him
after the fact and created a memory book, complete with a full transcript,
photos, and a written family tree as of that day.
Mom,
Mary, was an extraordinary woman who was devoted to her God, her husband, and
her family – in that order – and who never tired of giving everything she had,
physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and financially, to better the
lives of others, whether she knew them or not. She would literally give you the
shirt off her back if you needed it, and ask nothing in return. She took in
wayward children, welcomed anyone to her table, and wasn’t afraid to tell you
what you needed to hear, and then give you a hug. She left the world a better
place, and I will miss her.
Here
is story of her life, from the perspective of those she graced with her love.
***
Funeral services
were on Saturday, January 11, 2020, at 10 a.m. at Warenski Funeral Home, 1776
N. 900 East, American Fork, Utah, 84003. A viewing was held at 8:30 a.m. prior
to the service. Mary is buried at Wasatch Lawn Memorial Park, 3401 S Highland
Dr, Salt Lake City, UT 84106.
Funeral Tributes
January 11, 2020
Family Prayer by
Doug Gibson (in the viewing room before the service) ~
Dear Heavenly Father,
We are grateful for the opportunity to
gather here, all of us together, and honor the memory of my mother, and
grandmother, wife, Mary J. Gibson. We are grateful that she has lived a
wonderful life and that we have the opportunity to pay tribute to her. We know
that she is happy and at peace, and that her spirit is over us today, and that
she is very aware of what we are doing today. We are grateful that she touched
our lives in many, many ways and, for many of us, was the guiding influence in
our lives. Bless us with the love and the desire to emulate her example on the
earth, and to live a life of charity, love, and understanding. We are grateful
for her and we are eager to pay tribute to her today.
We say these things in the name of
Jesus Christ. Amen.
Welcome by Dave
Gibson ~
Good morning. I’d like to thank
everyone for coming. My name is Dave Gibson, and on behalf of my family, I
would like to welcome you all here today. We are going to have a wonderful
service on behalf of my mom. We will start this morning with a hymn, Families
can be Together Forever (one verse); We will have an opening prayer by Kati
Gibson; Doug, my brother, will read mom’s obituary; my sister Nancy will present
her Life Sketch; and then we will have a musical number by my sister Jane and
her husband, Stuart, The Lord is My Shepherd.
Opening Hymn, Families
Can Be Together Forever (This song was specially requested by Dave. He
remembers singing this with mom at church when he was a little boy.)
I have a fam’ly
here on earth.
They are so good
to me.
I want to share
my life with them
through all
eternity.
Fam’lies can be
together forever
Through Heav’nly
Father’s plan.
I always want to
be with my own family,
And the Lord has
shown me how I can.
The Lord has
shown me how I can.
Invocation by Kati
Gibson ~
Our kind and loving Heavenly Father,
We come to Thee with thankful hearts
to celebrate the life of a special wife, mother, grandmother, and friend, Mary
Gibson. We are so thankful for the privilege we have had to know her and have
her indelible mark left on our lives, which has changed us for the better. We
are so thankful for this remarkable daughter of Zion, and the positive impact
she has made in all of our lives. We are thankful for all of the many good
memories that we have been able to create with her, and ask Thee to visit us
with Thy spirit that we might be able to cherish these memories forever and
know that our parting is just for a time and we are going to be together again.
Please help us – give us comfort that we might be able to follow in her
footsteps and draw closer unto Thee, and cherish each and every one of us the
way she has shown us. We love Thee, Father, and we ask these blessings be upon
us.
In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Obituary, read by
Doug Gibson ~
Mary Jeannette Jewett Gibson died
Saturday, January 4, 2020, in Taylorsville, Utah, at the age of 83. Mary was
born on April 24th, 1936, in Los Angeles, California, the daughter of Fred
Jewett and Mary Elizabeth Shields.
On April 23rd, 1953, Mary married
Randolph Ray Gibson, in Long Beach, Calif. Their marriage was later solemnized
in the St. George, Utah temple of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day
Saints.
The young couple settled in Long
Beach, Calif., to raise a family. Mary and Ray raised seven children in Long
Beach. Mary was a homemaker, Ray a firefighter for the city of Long Beach. Mary
and her husband were faithful members of the LDS Church. Mary served in many
church service callings. She was an accomplished genealogist, compiling family
histories and often was invited to speak with organizations on the subject. She
was a talented writer, who had poetry published.
In 1987, Mary and Ray retired and
moved to the Salt Lake City area, where Mary remained the rest of her life. In
later years she enjoyed spending time with her children, and particularly her
grandchildren. She had a healthy interest in the Gospel of Jesus Christ,
history and politics. She served as a county delegate for the Utah Republican
Party.
Mary is survived by her husband,
Randolph Ray, 88, her seven children, Carla (Lanny) Smith, Jane (Stuart) King,
Nancy (Bart) Bowen, Carol (Steve) Hastings, Missy (Tom) Benedict, Doug (Kati)
Gibson, and David (Sharon) Gibson. She is survived by 19 grandchildren and 12
great-grandchildren. She was preceded in death by grandson, Randolph Ray
Gibson. She is survived by a half-brother, Frank Haviland. She was preceded in
death by a half-brother, Ward Shields.
Life Sketch,
written by Nancy Gibson Bowen
First, I would like to say that I am
honored to give this Life Sketch for my mom. She is my hero. I aspire to be
like her. And if she was here, she would say, “No, I want you to be better.”
And, to that, I say, “Mom, I am trying.”
Mary Jeannette Jewett was born April
24, 1936, to Fred Jewett and Mary Elizabeth Shields. Early in her life Mary
(Mom) was placed in foster care since no one was able to watch her. One foster
care placement was with the Parkers. She called them Mother and Daddy Parker.
She loved Mother and Daddy Parker, and
she grew up the first 5 years of her life there. With their family, she
attended the Baptist church. She was taught at church and home how to pray and
have faith in Jesus Christ. Long after she left the Parker’s home, she
continued to live by the principles she was taught there. She told me that,
when she prayed, she would imagine Jesus at his carpenter bench and she would
wait until he looked up at her to start talking to him.
After Mom left the first home there were more
orphanages and many challenges mom had to deal with, living an uncertain life
without parents capable of caring for her. She eventually ran away, taking a
bus trip to St. George, Utah.
She went to a local motel and lied about
her age so she might get a job as a maid. Brother and Sister Dewsnip, the
owners, understood she was a child in peril and welcomed her as a guest. Sister
Dewsnip was a local LDS Relief Society president. They became known as Grandpa
and Grandma Dewsnip to us kids. The Dewsnips taught my mom the gospel in their
home. She loved their home. They encouraged mom to talk about her home and
family.
Before mom found her way to
California, she visited relatives in Arkansas. She was hoping to stay with
them, but she was not able to do so and was returned to the Los Angeles area.
While there, though, she expressed her desire to become a Mormon.
At the Long Beach
ward, she walked into the Bishop’s office and met BIshop Oleen Adams and told
him she wanted to be baptized. Bishop Adams told her she needed to take the
missionary lessons. She did, and joined the church at age 15. She skipped two
years in school and was attending Poly High School and was on the swim team.
She was planning to graduate at age 16.
While swimming at a pool, which was across
from the Navy base, her friend went across to watch a Navy baseball game. My
mom was babysitting a child at the pool so she couldn’t go, but her friend
brought a couple of sailors over to meet her. One of the sailors was Ray
Gibson. He was very much attracted to her and asked her for her phone number.
She would not give it to him. Her friend did give it to him.
I’m thankful her friend did give my
dad her number or I may not be standing here. After a courtship, they made
plans to get married. Her LDS ward gave her a wonderful wedding and reception. My
dad left for Japan during the Korean War. His friends on the ship gave him a
Book of Mormon, leading to his conversion.
The children of one of those friends,
Elwin and Donna Jones, are here today. I am blessed to have them here. We have
many good memories with them growing up and even called them ‘Aunt’ and ‘Uncle’,
and their kids our ‘cousins.’ We love the Jones family!
My Mother loved Jesus Christ, and she
worked many years bringing thousands, even tens of thousands, of her family
ancestors to receive the blessings of being on the covenant path on both sides
of the veil! We love you mom, and we are so proud of your life and all you did
for us. And we know you loved our dad with all your heart!
In the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
The Lord is My Shepherd, violin and piano performed by Stuart and Jane King
Announcements by
Dave Gibson ~
Alright, we’re half-way there …
everyone hold it together!
Our next presenters will be Memories
of Grandma given by her grandchildren; We will have a speaker, Gordon Mauss,
who is an old bishop and long-time family friend – We are honored to have him
here today; and then my sister Carla will give the introduction of mom’s
great-grandchildren.
Memories of
Grandma (Some
of these were spoken, and some were written by the grandchildren to be included
in this tribute. Those spoken are marked with an * below.) ~
Carla’s Children,
memories shared by Alana Smith Robison
*This was a
letter I wrote and read for Grams in the days before she died.
Dear Grandma,
I wanted to take the opportunity to
thank you for the generosity and love I have learned from watching you and
Papa. I know that you took care of me when I was very young, and my dad had
been burned and was in the hospital. It must have been a great relief for my
mom to know that you were always available to help when your family needed you.
I also remember the time you came back east to stay with us for 10 days so my
parents could take a vacation to Tahiti. As I look back over that experience I
am struck with gratitude for your willingness to watch three rowdy children but
also the realization that while that vacation was a much-needed break for my
parents it was the kind of vacation you and Papa never had the opportunity to
experience yourselves. You poured all of your resources into your family and
religion. I don’t know if it felt like a sacrifice, but it was one.
There are so many other examples of
the ways you gave to your family. I remember Doug living with you while he was
delivering pizzas before he found a job where he could use his degree. I
remember all the time and energy you both put into Kate and David after their
parents divorced, and how you watched Jennie, Rachel, and Carrie almost
full-time so their parents could work. I also remember you extending your home
to Elisabeth when she had nowhere else to go and the many times you gave Kate a
home when no one else would.
I rarely needed anything from you or
Papa because of course, you gave me the greatest gift of all, my own Mom. She
is an ever-present part of me and my children’s lives and the generosity she
offers with her time and love reflects what I have seen from you and Papa
towards your own family. Thank you so much for doing the best you could. You
started this life without any examples of how to be a parent or raise a family,
but I will do my best to show my children the same generosity and love I have
learned from watching you and my mom.
Thank you for being an example for
your children, grandchildren and, great-grandchildren. I love you.
Scott Smith: My happiest
memories of Grandma are of the times I spent with her and Grandpa at their home
in Old Farm. I remember watching out the car window on our many trips from
Provo and eagerly looking for the Johanna’s Kitchen billboard, as it was the
landmark that meant we were only minutes away. I remember my excitement over
swimming, rough housing in the basement, and feeding ducks at the pond. Grandma
would be there to greet us with hugs and kisses. She showed a great depth of
caring for me, my siblings, and my cousins, which I did not fully understand at
the time.
Looking back through the eyes of an
adult, I know that she loved having us with her, but now I see that our visits
must have been something of a hassle at times and were accompanied by a good
deal of preparation to make sure we would be safe, fed, and entertained. Having
kept a careful eye on children at a pool, gone shopping to prepare large meals,
and broke up childish squabbles, my heart is filled with gratitude for her all
her work on our behalf. Grandma did us all a great service by looking after us
and making a home where we could gather as a family.
In remembrance of her, I offer this
short poem by an unknown author:
As our journey
together ends
We will be at
your side through
The long night
vigil.
We will walk with
you through
The valley of
lengthening shadows
Loving and
comforting you.
But as your
journey takes a turn
On the road we've
never traveled
We must let you
go.
Thank you for
leaving us with memories to
Mend our broken
hearts,
Joy comes in the
morning
Because now you
are home.
While we honor
all our mothers with words of love and praise,
While we tell
about their goodness and their kind and loving ways,
We should also
think of Grandma, she's a mother too, you see....
For she mothered
my dear mother, as my mother mother’d me.
Jane’s Children,
memories shared by Elisabeth King Wallace
*I’m Elisabeth, or “Lilybet” as pet
named by Grams. I am representing my sister, Abigail, also known as “Abilene,”
my brother, Jon, otherwise known as “Jon-a-fun,” and my youngest brother,
Michael, or “Mikey.”
Grams always told me that I did not
need to rush into marriage. She believed that women should get an education and
have life experiences when they are young because it is easier to do before
settling into family life. She made me promise from a young age I would not to
marry before I turned 25. In fact, when she lay in bed beginning hospice last
week, I told her I just got engaged and she gave me a hard look and asked, “how
old are you?” Which I’ve decided to take as a compliment
I followed her admonition and was
married to my late husband at 27. I’m a student today. All five of her
daughters have college degrees. That is the kind of direct influence her good
values had on her children and grandchildren. That is not to say that she was
any less proud of the accomplishments of her family who married earlier or
pursued other avenues to achieve success. She just wanted her children and
grandchildren to have opportunities that she had not had time for as a wife and
mother of 17 years old. But she had no regrets about how her life turned out.
She loved her family and valued her commitment to them and to my Papa above all
else. This November when Abi was visiting Grams she said that all Grams wanted
to do was watch the old family videos with her. As Abi listened to her talk
about the videos, she could tell how much Grams loved and lived for her family.
Abi also said that numerous times throughout watching them Grams couldn’t help
but comment on how dark Papa’s hair used to be.
Grams was a very loving person. She
didn’t reserve her love for just her own children and grandchildren, but
rather, opened her home and her heart to many young people. My cousins on my
Dad’s side have warm and vivid memories of the attention she gave to them and
the meals she invited their families over for. They call her “Aunt Mary” to
this day. My friends and all my dogs were always welcome in her home growing
up. She never gave me a hard time about my first pet, a very nervous dog,
peeing on the floor. She didn’t mind and would make some cute remark about it,
an approach I found novel as a child because my parents had no sense of humor
about pet incontinence at that time. Grams had a way of infusing our lives with
humor. From her hollow threats to smack our fannies to her benign episodes of
road rage in which she called fellow drivers, “Grandpappy-pity-poos” or “Big
Turkeys,” she put a smile on our faces.
I was fortunate to have the
opportunity to remind her of all the great times she made possible for us as
kids the last time I saw her; How much we all looked forward to our visits to
her and Papa and how my brother Mikey particularly appreciated her pound cake,
or as he called it “Grams cake.” We all have so many wonderful memories of
getting to have sleepovers at Gram’s house. Abi always thought it was awesome
that we were allowed to watch cable cartoons and eat treats there. She used to
pillage Gram’s purse for the Altoids that were nearly always in it. My brother,
“Jonafun,” told me recently that the annual family Thanksgiving dinners she
would host at Old Farm are amongst his most vivid memories of childhood.
From the beginning of my life to the
end of hers, Grams told me that I was smart, capable, and kind. Some of her
last words whispered to me were, “You are beautiful and kind. You are good.”
She spoke of Abi in the same breath in the same way. We always felt her love
for us. Love and family are her legacy. She extended love and hospitality to
many in her life in a way I will continue to aspire to emulate.
Carol’s Children,
memories shared by Carrie Hastings Bless
My name is Carrie Bless, I am the
daughter of Carol.
My grandma never failed to show her
love for my siblings and me. She used to squeeze our hands three times, and
that meant I love you – one squeeze for each word. She gave freely and expected
nothing in return. That’s just the kind of person she was. Her home was a
paradise. I can remember countless hours she spent watching us at the pool, or
cooking delicious meals or treats for us. She was devoted to her family, even
her ancestors. She loved genealogy. My grandmother has made me a better
student, friend, wife, and mother. I recognize the impact of her influence in
the molding of who I have become. She will be greatly missed.
Carrie’s written
tribute: I'll never forget waking up to the smell of waffles and the
clattering sound of dishes at my grandma's house. I remember my clothes
smelling like her home after I'd return from spending a weekend there. I love
that smell. I wish I could recreate it. She would gently spank our freshly
bathed bottoms while saying, "Macka, macka, macka..." She listened to
bluegrass gospel in the car and called bad drivers "turkeys." She
always gave away hugs and kisses. She showed us all the love and kindness that
she hadn't been so lucky to receive in her childhood. She loved being part of a
family. I remember when Rachel and I would fight. I'm not exaggerating when I
say that we've shed blood on more than one occasion. My grandma would tell me,
"She's your sister. She will be your best friend." She was right.
Grandma used to squeeze our hands three times, which meant, "I love
you." One squeeze for each word. I remember the way she spoke about my
grandpa. Their relationship set my bar high. I wanted nothing less than what
they have. I'm going to miss her so much. However, I'm glad she's now free from
her aches and pains. Until I see her again, I have plenty of fond memories to
keep her close.
I would like to invite my brother,
David, up. He isn’t on the program, but was able to get an early release from
Afghanistan to be with us here today.
*David Hastings: It was a long
trip, I got here last night at about midnight. I was born in California, I
lived not too long from my grandma’s house. I don’t have a lot of memories of
my house, but I have so many, countless, of her house. I remember everything
about it. I spent a lot of time there. I moved to Utah, I don’t even remember
when – in my early years – and then she moved out there after that. I remember
my Grandma’s house was always a place where I felt loved. A safe place. She
always had her pantry stocked with Rice Krispie treats and Gushers fruit
snacks, and Creamies popsicles in the basement. I remember her singing so loud
to her gospel music in the car like no one else was there, but we were all
there. She was always going to family history – it was just part of her thing.
She was going to the Family History Library to do whatever it was she did there
- I never knew. But she was always just so selfless. She was serving without
ever asking for anything in return. Not too long ago, I read a talk by Gordon
B. Hinckley about his wife. He said that, “My children and I were at her
bedside as she slipped peacefully into eternity.” I don’t remember who it was,
I think it was Missy who told me that, Grandma woke up and everyone was there,
and she said that it was the happiest moment of her life. It brings me a lot of
comfort to know where she is.
David’s written
tribute: I was born in Long Beach and lived near Grandma in my early
years. I have one memory of my house in Long Beach, but I have countless
memories of grandma’s house. I remember its layout and backyard. After moving
to Utah, I still spent a lot of time at her house. I remember raiding the
pantry for Gushers fruit snacks and the freezer for Creamies popsicles. I
remember making forts with all the blankets she kept under the stairs. Her
singing so loud to gospel music in the car.
Of all the memories, I remember the
feeling of her home. Throughout all the tough times, her house brought peace
and stability. There, I felt safe and loved. She always loved us and was
willing to do anything for us. I also remember her going to the family history
library so often. She was so selfless in service and everything she did.
I recently read a talk by Gordon B.
Hinckley called The Women in Our Lives. He recounted the passing of his wife of
67 years as, “My children and I were at her bedside as she slipped peacefully
into eternity.” I am glad she was surrounded by loved ones in her last days. I
look forward to the day when I can see her again.
Missy’s Children,
memories shared by Jennie Simon Benedict
My name is Simon, I’m Missy’s son.
*When I was growing up, I spent quite
a bit of time over at my grandma's house, whether it be for a sleepover with
cousins, family gatherings, or simply because my parents were busy with one
thing or another. I have fond memories of going to grandma's; tearing apart the
storage closet under the stairs for the hundredth time and turning it into our
little 'Clubhouse', playing for hours on end. When I was done, I knew there
would always be Grandma upstairs with a smile, a delicious home-cooked meal,
and maybe a story or two about my mom and her childhood. Memories of all the
time I spent with her are highlights of my childhood I won't ever forget. I'll
always remember the walks her and I would take around the duck pond by her home
to feed the ducks, all the trips to the swimming pool. I'll always remember and
learn from her kindness, her generosity, and the love and dedication she had
for my grandpa all these years. She had such a positive impact on so many
lives, and she will be missed. I love you, Grandma.
Doug’s Children,
memories shared by Joe Gibson
*My name is Joseph Gibson, and I will
be representing my sisters, Mary and Sophie, as well as myself. We are the
children of Doug.
Grandma has had a big heart, and she
has had a great love for all of her grandchildren. I have always felt special
when I was with her. She has been my greatest fan, which she showed by
attending events my sisters and I were involved in. I remember she and grandpa
came to Ogden to watch me box at Foley’s gym. This memory is not unmarred by
pain, as Grandpa had an accident tripping on some stairs and Grandma really did
not enjoy seeing me get hit in the ring. She was fiercely protective of her
family. My sister Mary had a similar experience when she had her black belt
test and Grandma wanted to beat up one of her senseis for the physical exertion
she had to endure. My sister Sophie excelled at playing the Scottish snare drum
in her high school bagpipe corps, and she found inspiration from grandma’s
extensive genealogical research in our Scottish ancestry. Grandma would always
cheer us on, and I have always felt like a champion in her eyes. I will forever
cherish the memories of her dedicated support.
Mary Gibson
Morris: My favorite memory of her is when she and Grandpa came to support
me at my black belt test several years ago. They were truly in my corner, and
at one point, Grandpa had to physically restrain her before she could jump into
the fighting of the exam on my behalf. She has always had a fierce loyalty to
her family and would ensure that everyone who entered her presence felt her
pure love.
I've also appreciated the advice she
gave me over the course of the years, especially regarding the importance of
education and self-sufficiency. I think a lot of my drive to achieve the most I
can comes from her insistence that I fight for myself. She left quite the
legacy for her progeny to try to live up to, and I hope that I can become half
the person she was.
Sophie Gibson: My grandma has
been a huge role model and supporter of me my whole life. She was devoted to
providing a solid and happy home for her entire family. Some of my best and
earliest memories involve her: waffles with whip cream and strawberries, walks
around the duck pond by her place, extended family sleepovers in the basement.
I remember one night when I was younger, I was talking a mile a minute all
through dinner and we made a bet that I would get a cent for every minute I
could go without talking. I made eighteen cents that day and I was so proud of
the self-restraint that took and so was she! Living an hour away, she and my
grandpa would always come to support our different events as often as they
could. Their love and devotion to family and to each other has inspired my
goals for the future.
I am so thankful for the foundation
she helped me build in my life with the wisdom she shared from her own life and
from the love and patience she had, and I feel proud to share a middle name
with her (Jeannette.) I love you Grandma
Dave’s Children,
memories shared by Sarah Gibson
*I’m Sarah, and I’m going to be
sharing some memories on behalf of myself and my brother, Brian. We are Dave’s
kids, Mary’s youngest son.
When we were children, we spent a lot
of time with grandma. In fact, when I was really little, I spent nearly every
day with her while my parents were at work. Some of our fondest and earliest
memories were made with her. She absolutely adored her grandchildren, and it
was no secret. I loved the time I spent with her because she always made me
feel like whatever we were doing together was her absolute favorite thing.
Brian and I loved building forts out of pillows and blankets in the closet
under the stairs, sleepovers with our cousins on the futon mattress on the
basement floor, and waking up to the smell of her famous buttermilk waffles. We’d
sit on the floor of the office and eat them while she sat at the computer
playing solitaire and grandpa watched baseball with no sound, only the closed
captioning. We took countless walks to the pond to feed the ducks, made trips
to the pool, and hunted for snails in her rose garden. Once we found a few and
tried to make them a habitat in an old shoe box that we hid in the basement,
but she found us out. Grandma’s house was a magical place with endless Rice
Krispies and Gushers in the pantry, a stockpile of Creamies in the freezer, and
everything a kid could ever need. Forgot your swimming suit? Grandma had a box
of them in the basement (along with goggles, noodles, rings, and every other
pool toy you could imagine). Wanted to play doctor? Grandma had crutches in the
garage, old syringes, and even a blood pressure cuff to use. The chest in the
basement had every kind of toy imaginable, all the best movies were on the
shelf, and she had the biggest box of crayons ready for when you got an urge to
color.
As I’ve grown older and learned more
about my grandma’s life, she’s become an incredible inspiration to me. Despite
the trials she faced, she always kept her head held high. She taught me perhaps
the most valuable lesson one could learn, which is that with faith, and love,
and a fighting spirit, you can accomplish anything you set your mind to.
Grandma, thank you for the memories
that we'll cherish for the rest of our lives. Thank you for the amazing example
you set for us, and thank you for making each and every one of us feel
treasured. Thank you for showing us what true love looks like. A marriage like
yours and grandpa’s is what our parents found, and we hope to someday find
ourselves. Thank you for your unapologetic, spit-fiery spirit, and for teaching
me I could be who and whatever I wanted, and that I never needed to apologize
for that. Thank you for being you.
Life just doesn’t feel right without
you, and I’m not sure it ever will. But we know that, no matter what the future
holds, you’ll still be with us through it all as our very own guardian angel,
just like you’ve always been. We love you, grandma.
Bishop Gordon Mauss’
remarks ~
Ray, look what you’ve started – you
and Mary. As I counted the numbers of children and grandchildren, I came up
with about 40. Does that sound about right? And, that’s just the beginning.
You’re going to have descendants and posterity as numerous as the sands of the
sea and the stars of the heavens.
What a great occasion this is. I’ve
loved hearing the sweet expressions and memories from the children and grandchildren
today and feel deeply honored that Mary would want me to speak at her funeral.
We’ve had some occasions when we
didn’t always agree when I was her bishop, but I think that she’s forgiven me
and I hope that she feels the great love that our family has for her family.
I’m not her only former bishop. Bishop
James Wright is here today, who was her Bishop in the Lakewood Second Ward is
here today, and Bishop Harold Peterson, who was her Bishop in the Long Beach
Eleventh Ward. These are great men, and I have much appreciation and love for them.
Funerals are a lovely, happy, sad,
occasion. But I don’t think we should be too sad. I don’t think Mary is sad. I
think she is very, very happy. I think she is looking down, if I know Mary, and
listening in on what is taking place today at this service. I love what the
Lord said in the Doctrine & Covenants, section 42, verses 45 and 46: “Thou
shalt live together in love, insomuch that thou shalt weep for the loss of them
that die, and it shall come to pass that those that die in me shall not taste
of death, for it shall be sweet unto them.” How grateful we are for the
gospel plan, that teaches us who we are, and why we’re here, and what we can
become, because we know we have the hope and the knowledge and testimony that
life goes on beyond this mortal existence.
The veil is very thin at funerals and
at the birth of a child. I feel Mary’s presence here today, and I hope you do
as well.
Barbara, my wife, and I first met the
Gibson family when we moved to Long Beach over 50 years ago. They were a
godsend to us, as Mary was a mentor to Barbara as a young mother. Our relatives
were many miles away, and Mary and Ray took us under their wings and helped us
understand how to be parents.
Carla, Jane, Nancy, Carol, and Missy
were our babysitters for our sons, and Doug and David were their big brothers.
Our boys idolized Ray as a firefighter, and they wished their daddy was like
him. Mary was a second mom to our boys, and she was a devoted wife and mom, and
was a fierce defender of her family, who are now the jewels in her crown.
One of the reasons we liked Ray so
much is because he loved baseball. Ray and Mary met at a baseball game, right
Ray? And, our family has always been a big baseball family and I loved going to
the ward softball games and watching Ray play. I don’t know how many of you
have read Ray’s life story. If you haven’t, be sure and do so! He shared a copy
with me recently. His life story was edited and collected by his daughter,
Nancy, but there is an interesting observation in there about his wife, Mary.
I’d like to just quote Ray.
“I am very fortunate to have Mary for
my wife. I have mentioned earlier that it was divine intervention that brought
us together. Mary has instilled in our children a great desire for education. She
did not have the opportunity to get a college education because we were married
when she was 16 years old, and she was barely 18 when our first child was born.
During the next 11 years, we had six more. She was very busy raising them and
did an excellent job. She did go to Long Beach City College when Carla and Jane
were going there, but only took a couple of classes each semester.”
Remember that, Jane? Carla?
Ray goes on to say, “Mary was very
intelligent and has an above-average IQ.” I think you underestimated that, Ray.
I think Mary’s IQ was very, very, high.
“And, she is an avid reader.” That may
be one of the reasons she has such a high IQ. “There are not many books that
she has not read.
She was a very gregarious person. She
loved to talk to people. She is comfortable with anyone and will start
conversations with a total stranger, such as at the checkout line at the
market. I marvel at the great love she has for me. As I said before, I am very
fortunate to have her for my wife. We have been very happy and have a great family.”
Well, where is Mary now? Well, I think
she’s here today, but what will she be doing as her life continues?
Alma said, in chapter 40:
“Now, concerning the state of the soul
between death and the resurrection, behold it has been made known unto me by an
angel that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this
mortal body, are taken home to that God who gave them life. And then, shall it come
to pass, that the spirits of those who are righteous, are received into a state
of happiness, which is called Paradise, a state of rest, a state of peace,
where they shall rest from all their troubles and from all care and sorrow.”
Unless we misunderstand, I don’t think
that means we are going to be given a harp and a cloud to go float on until we
are resurrected. The Lord makes it plenty clear in other parts of the scripture
that ‘to rest’ does not mean we are sleeping. It’s to be in His presence. And,
I’m sure that Mary is going to be very busy, actively involved in the salvation
of her family on the other side of the veil, just as she was on this side of
the veil.
Think of her as being on a mission.
And, Ray, and the rest of the family, she will probably also be preparing a
glorious mansion for her family on the heavenly corner of Chatwin and Wardlow
Streets.
Mary was a remarkable woman – an elect
lady of the Lord. She loved the Lord and was an amazing mother and wife, but
just as much an amazing person. When we think of what she overcame as a child,
and what she has become as a lady, is a remarkable, remarkable accomplishment.
Those of you who are her family members, look around at each other. Can you
imagine a young girl, 15 years of age, getting on a bus in Long Beach after
putting her finger on a map to find out where to go on the bus, ending up in
Saint George, and being taken in by a wonderful family? You know the rest of
the story. You ARE the rest of the story. And, I’m sure that she has high hopes
for all of the rest of her family.
I like the words of President Spencer
W. Kimball about this life:
“We knew before we were born that we
were coming to the earth for bodies and experience and that we would have joys
and sorrows, ease and pain, comforts and hardships, health and sickness,
successes and disappointments, and we knew also that after a period of life we
would die.” It’s part of the plan.
“We accepted all these eventualities
with a glad heart, eager to accept both the favorable and unfavorable. We
eagerly accepted the chance to come earthward even though it might be for only
a day,” as it was for young Randolph Ray, “or a year.
Perhaps we were not so much concerned
whether we should die of disease, of accident, or of senility. We were willing
to take life as it came and as we might organize and control it, and this
without murmur, complaint, or unreasonable demands.”
As I mentioned, I recently read Ray’s
life story. I learned that he was baptized in the font of the mission home in
Tokyo, Japan, while my father was presiding over that mission and I was a
9-year-old boy. I might have even attended your baptism, Ray! That is very
possible. I share Ray’s belief that his marriage to Mary was brought about by
divine intervention, for I feel the same way about my eternal companion,
Barbara. I’m sure that he would agree with me that, whatever good has come into
our lives, is due in large measure to the influence of our wonderful wives.
God Bless Mary Gibson, her husband
Ray, and her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, and may we be
reunited together forever, in her presence, in the House of the Lord.
It is my prayer and testimony, in the
name of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Introduction of
Great-Grandchildren by Carla Gibson Smith ~
Previous speakers have mentioned how much
Mary loved and treasured her children and her grandchildren, and I can attest
she had a very special place in her heart for her great grandchildren. I would
like the great-grandchildren and their mothers to come forward, and their
mothers will introduce them.
·
Alana introduced Norea and Blake.
·
Emily introduced Oliver and Margot.
·
Felicia introduced Lizzy, Amber, and Paige.
·
Rachel introduced Caleb and Riley.
·
Carrie introduced baby Eli.
Announcements by
Carla Gibson Smith ~
My parents lived at Legacy at
Taylorsville, and we would like to have their branch president, President
Robert Stanley give a few closing remarks; then we will have the first verse of
God Be With You ‘til We Meet Again; and then Sharon Foster Gibson will
give the benediction.
Closing Remarks by
President Robert Stanley ~
I would, first off, like to apologize to
all of you. My map took me down the road about a quarter-of-a-mile, and there
isn’t a funeral home there. And so, I drove back and forth and around, and
finally drove into a neighborhood. And, there was a Hearst, from this funeral
home. They were just walking into the chapel of the church. So, I waited until
the people cleared out and went in to take at the program. It was a gentleman
named Stanley’s funeral, so I knew that wasn’t where I was supposed to be. So,
the folks that were there told me where their building was, and that’s how I
got here.
I look forward to having opportunities to
talk about my friends who I love. Mary Gibson is one of my friends. She is an
elect daughter of God. I enjoyed talking to her and Ray. They are such a fun
couple who love and adore each other and treat each other with love and
respect. They always had a fun story to tell me, and I enjoyed talking to Ray.
I think my voice is such that he could hear me some of the time because he would
answer the right question when I asked. And, I enjoyed my visits with them. I
know it is going to be hard for him now that his sweet, dear wife is gone. Mary
is with us today in spirit. She is here enjoying this service and I think she
would scold me for being late. I’m sure she has enjoyed the good things being
said about her.
Many years ago, I was in the temple doing
baptisms with the youth of the ward. One of the workers told me this story. He
said, “I see spirits. They come here and sit below the font until their work is
done, then they leave. I was asked to talk at my great-uncle’s funeral. He was
the last child of a big family to pass on. While I was sitting on the stand, he
and his brothers and sisters came in and took a row in the front of the room.
They enjoyed the service. Later we went to the cemetery. They were there also.
When things were taken care of there, they walked off with their newly departed
brother, arm in arm.”
Mary’s life story is incredible how she
overcame a troubled start, and then was introduced to the gospel of Jesus
Christ—embracing it wholeheartedly. She has become a gracious mother, wife,
friend, and teacher. She told me that the bishop would bring unwanted and/or
troubled children to her and Ray to help them for a time and to see a good,
God-fearing home. The first time she and Ray met is another fun story.
The plan of salvation, or “Gods plan of
happiness,” teaches that we lived as spirits before we came to earth. We are
here to learn, to get a body, to be tested and tried, and prepare to live with
God in the next life. Mary and Ray will be able to be together for eternity as
husband and wife. They have fulfilled the covenants that are required to be
together. They will be there. We, who are here, need to do our parts to be able
to be with them for eternity.
And, before I close, I’d like to add one
more thing. Our Father in heaven loves Ray and Mary for their untiring work,
and for the things that they did to help others, and for the things that Ray
continues to do to help others. He is a good man. He is an important member of
our branch, and Mary was also.
I leave you with these words, in the name
of Jesus Christ. Amen.
Closing Prayer,
delivered by Sharon Gibson
My name is Sharon, and I am married to
the youngest son, Dave.
You’ve heard a lot today from people
about how Mary is with us in the room today. She was also with my little family
in the second row that I love so much at dinner last night. Neither my husband
nor I felt like cooking, so we went out to eat, and ordered dessert at the end.
The server said, “I just have to tell you about our dessert special tonight. The
first one is Almond Pound Cake”, and we knew that was mom. Will you pray with
me?
Heavenly Father,
We humbly bow our heads before you in thanks
for sharing a life with us.
Each person in this room, and thousands
of others, were personally touched by the woman we are here to honor. Whether
we called her our wife, mom, grandma, great-grandmother, aunt, or friend, Mary
Gibson was unforgettable and irreplaceable, and we are all grateful for the
time we had with her and the impact she had on our lives.
Lord, we thank you today for allowing us
to come to know Mary, for the inspiration, example, and love she showed each of
us, for the joy she found in the Church she loved so much, for the service she
provided to the community, for her unshakable faith in the bonds of family, and
for the memories of this special woman that we will carry with us forever.
Our lives were enhanced by our
interactions with her.
Lord, we pray today for comfort,
direction, and peace.
Comfort for the family as they find a new
normal; and comfort for Mary as she transitions from this life to the next.
Direction for those who have been left
behind, so that we might honor her by living the lives she taught us to live;
and direction for Ray and Mary so that they may find each other in their
eternity.
And Peace for us all in knowing that,
even as we say goodbye, the path before us will still hold joy, laughter, and
love.
Russell M. Nelson said, “We can’t fully
appreciate joyful reunions later without tearful separations now.” Although we
are tearful, we look forward to the time when we are reunited with Mary, in
whatever form our hearts take comfort. May her spirit continue to bless us in
this life and beyond.
In the name of Jesus Christ, I pray.
Amen.
Dedication
of the Grave, by Doug Gibson
Dear Heavenly Father,
I
dedicate this grave by the authority of the Melchizedek Priesthood. I dedicate
and consecrate this burial plot to be the resting spot for the body of Mary
Jeannette Jewett Gibson.
We
are gathered here to say goodbye and let the body have a place to rest in, but
we know that mom resides as a spirit and is doing wonderful work, even now. We
are grateful that we all had a chance to be here as a family to give her the
appropriate goodbye. I thank Thee, God, for having this warm, wonderful spirit
today. We know that this is, in part, because mom is here with us. Our lives
will go on and we will continue to be influenced and inspired by the example of
my mother, grandmother, and wife. We dedicate this grave to the Holy Spirit
knowing that we will, one day, be together again.
We
say this in the name of Jesus Christ. Amen.