Sarah gave me a bracelet for Christmas last year. It was an
Alex and Ani, and had a dragonfly charm on it. She enclosed this letter:
Mom,
If
someone were to ask me what reminds me of you, I would have no trouble thinking
of something. For as long as I can remember, you’ve loved dragonflies. You’ve
always thought they were so beautiful and intriguing, and you told me that when
you died, you would come back to me as one. You will always be the first thing
I think of when I see a dragonfly.
I
will forever remember what you taught me: that everything in this life happens
for a reason. We’ve always found such simple and seemingly meaningless things
to be repetitive, like how we both look at the clock at 4:44, every day. I
couldn’t help but wonder, could the dragonfly be one of those things, too? I decided to look for some ancient myths and
stories containing dragonflies so that I could figure out their symbolism.
“The
dragonfly, in almost every part of the world, symbolizes change and change in
the perspective of self-realization; the kind of change that has its source in
mental and emotional maturity and the understanding of the deeper meaning of
life. It’s scurrying flight across water represents an act of going beyond what’s
on the surface and looking into the deeper implications and aspects of life,
and it’s agile flight and ability to move in all six directions, all while
exuding a sense of power and poise, are things that come only with age and
maturity. The dragonfly exhibits iridescence both on its wings as well as on
its body. Iridescence is the property of an object to show itself in different
colors depending on the angle and polarization of light falling on it. This
property is seen and believed as the end of one’s self-created illusions and a
clear vision into the realities of life. The property of iridescence is also
associated with the discovery of one’s own abilities by unmasking the real self
and removing the doubts one casts on his/her own sense of identity. This again
indirectly means self-discovery and removal of inhibitions. The dragonfly
normally lives most of its life as a nymph or an immature. It flies only for a
fraction of its life and usually not more than a few months. The adult
dragonfly does it all in these few months and leaves nothing to be desired. This
style of life symbolizes and exemplifies the virtue of living in the moment and
living life to the fullest. By living in the moment you are aware of who you
are, where you are, what you are doing, what you want, what you don’t, and make
informed choices on a moment-to-moment basis. This ability lets you live your
life without regrets. The eyes of the dragonfly are one of the most amazing and
awe inspiring sights. Given that almost 80% of the insect’s brain power is
dedicated to its sight and the fact that it can see in all 360 degrees around
it, it symbolizes the uninhibited vision of the mind and the ability to see
beyond the limitations of the human self. It also, in a manner of speaking,
symbolizes a man/woman to rise from materialism to be able to see beyond the
mundane into the vastness that is really our Universe, and our own minds.”
The
more I read, the more I realized that you are my dragonfly. You have taught me
how to adapt as my life changes, and how to stay strong and poised on the
outside, even if I don’t feel either of those things on the inside. You’ve
taught me to think deeper, and to realize my own abilities, and you’ve taught
me not to doubt them. You’ve helped me discover who I am, and who I want to be,
where I want to go, and what I want to do with my life. You’ve helped me to let
go of my regrets and to live day-to-day. You’ve taught me that there is more to
life than we can see, and have always encouraged me to find what’s beneath the
surface. You taught me how to fly when it feels like I have no ground left to
stand on.
I
hope that you wear this bracelet every day, and that when you look at it, you
are reminded of how much I love you, and just how much you mean to me. I know
that you will always be there for me, and that you will support me in whatever
I decide to do, and I am grateful every day for that. I love you more than
words could ever say. Thank you for always taking care of me. I’ll wear my
bracelet every day, too, and every time I see it, I’ll be reminded that I’m not
alone in anything that I do, because I will always have you. You’re my mom, my
best friend, my biggest supporter, my favorite teacher, my role model, and my
dragonfly.
Merry
Christmas, mama. I love you.
All
my love, and all my thanks,
Your
Sarafina
Christmas
2013